That same old phrase crops up again, Nothing changing in a Silent Room. I hate it, but it describes the situation so well.

Life can’t be easy for everyone, it is arguably not easy for anyone. We all have our crosses to bare. It is all too easy to feed that need for family or financial stability that may have evaded you in life within criminal gangs. It is meant to appear easy, that is the design and purpose. It is the tool that is used to recruit the vulnerable, the weak, the ones going through challenges in their lives. We know this as we have spoken with people whose job it was to recruit people – people like you. Young people wanting the riches without the effort, wanting to stick two fingers up and take what they want in life as life didn’t supply it willingly. They didn’t look at little old you because you were tough, or because you had street cred or honour. They chose you because you can be manipulated to do what they say, to take the fall if it goes wrong because they don’t want the risk! 

You might think ‘what do they know, they don’t know what my life has been like’ – maybe not, maybe we do, maybe there are some of us that have had a life far worse than yours but are tough enough to deal with it and move forward in life. Some have had their own brushes with the law, and changed paths and moved onto better things. That moment comes when you decide to your life will not be defined by what people judge you to be or want your destiny to be. Invariably, those comments are made to make themselves feel better. Eventually  you realise that you were putting two fingers up and life and all it represented for the pain and loss it had caused in your life, when in fact you should have been putting those two fingers up at those that doubted you and made you believe your only destiny was a downward path. You are cannon fodder destined for a prison cell. Of course, proving them wrong is far more satisfying than being sat in that cell just so they can validate themselves once again by saying ‘See, I told you so’

It’s easy to fold, and do what you are told – tell yourself you can keep doing it because you’re tough. But are you tough enough to change it? Tough enough to challenge those that write you off? You may think about this when you are sat in a cell at 15, 25, 50 or 70 – the choice is yours and only you can decide when to start saving some of your life or waste some more. 

WHAT YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE

There are two things that you cannot change in life, things that are preordained and completely out of your control. Who your Parents are, and when/how you die.

Everything else is on the table. Sure, a tough upbringing can shape who you are, but it doesn’t need to define you and only you can allow it to shackle you. The changes are, that a challenging upbringing means you are likely tougher than you think you are, more resilient, more resourceful. There are those that are groomed all their lives into believing that a criminal existence and a cell is all they are good for and it is their calling in life. Then there are those that just want to prove that they are not like their super successful sibling.  That could be due to neuro-diverse reasons and they are struggling with academia or they could be a natural entrepreneur wanting to carve their own path in life, but haven’t a clue how or what to do it.

The sad reality is, that what often starts this journey into crime is the desire for control over your destiny, to make your own fortunes your way when more often than not this results in long periods on incarceration where you have no control over anything and nothing left at all. The joys of life missed, people have passed by and friends have moved on. It is ironic that what started as a desire for control and financial gain so often ends in loss of everything, and you end up in the same position you started. Meanwhile, the entrepreneurial you could have made riches quite legally by now and living a very comfortable life indeed, and that is something that you will never know until you take that step to change things. As we have said before, it’s up to you how much life you waste before you realise, but everyone does at some point.

We don’t judge. We have learned a lot whilst doing this over the years. We have seen many offenders from poor backgrounds and privileged. It isn’t about poverty or being on the wrong side of the tracks. There comes that time when you become aware of your situation, the loss you have endured over the years and even just plain tired of the repetition. Ask any offender, that point comes at some time in our life. It is up to you when, but you will run out of time one day and it will be too late. I’ll leave you with the words of a long term offender:

“There comes a time when you become a man, when you realise you can change your path. You are not a victim of the cards you were dealt, you had control all the time but you couldn’t or weren’t ready to see it. Smarter ones finds it quickly, the rest find it too late when their lives and loves have all long past them by. You don’t want to be the person that finds out it’s too late, and you have nothing but your own dumb-ass self for company, when that’s all you been doing in a cell for the last 30 years”

Whatever position you are in right now, it can be changed for the better – or you can remain silent and the cycle goes on until you find a voice. Whoever you are; Parent, Teacher, Offender,  Neighbour, Family or Friend. Change only happens when people start talking. We don’t care who you are, if you need help then we will do all we can to point you in the right direction. We have special measures with various groups and partners that is growing all the time if you need help changing paths. Just Talk to Us.